How to get over someone who was never yours

          Feeling blue because the person you thought who loved you actually found someone new? Are you devastated because for nine years (length of time may vary) you felt the inconsistencies of loving someone who suddenly turned his/her back on you?

         Your situation may be different, but the point is, you love a person who is in love with someone else! You must be crying, sad, and inconsolable. But be inconsolable no more: here is the solution you've been waiting for- the how-to article that could actually channel your time and energy from mourning and feeling heartbroken into moving on (even though s/he wasn't yours in the first place)!

1. TELL EVERY DETAIL TO YOUR FRIENDS. Tell your friends how you found out the truth (e.g. by stalking). Every word, every letter, every tiny detail that broke your heart- tell them every damn thing.

You know what to do. (Photo taken from the Internet)

NOTE: Make sure that they are your real friends with ears that will listen. You don't want to have to repeat the story because they were busy doing some Calculus. This step is very crucial to the moving-on-from-someone-who-was-never-yours process so follow it religiously.

2. MOURN AND CRY LIKE A BABY. If you think you've moved on because you never cried over him/her, then you're wrong. That person made you believe in fairy tales, in Disney's happy-endings and ever afters- how could you not cry when s/he's found new love? Cry! Cry because your heart is broken and the dream you've been dreaming about for a long time could never be yours!

CRY! I said cry! (Photo taken from you-know-where)

NOTE: It is advised that you cry on your own so that you get to reflect about what happened without distraction and fake embrace about how it will all get better when all you feel is the world crumbling down under your feet. But if you think it will make you feel any better, you can cry on someone's shoulder.

3. STALK THE LOVERS. You know you shouldn't but you want to do it anyway. If the play-by-play report of their first date from Gateway to SM North (locales may vary) will crush your broken heart some more, then go: it's a free country even for stupid people like you.

You want to see them happy? Suffer! (Photo taken from someone else)

NOTE: The lovers may actually read your How-To article so be extra careful when providing context clues.

4. STOP STALKING THE LOVERS. This step needs no explanation at all.

She looks like a friend I know. (Photo downloaded from a site somewhere)

NOTE: This will be hard, but you have to do it after some time. Block his account if that is what it takes: no need to be a hypocrite about it. Delete every message, call history, or image that will trigger your brain to remind you of the past. Forgetting is hard if you remind yourself time after time.

5. MAKE A POEM, WRITE A SONG, A SYMBOLIC STORY, OR SOMETHING. Be literary, be artistic. Let the pain and the sorrow flow through you and then be a sport about it: damn, be creative about it! Who knows, you may be the next Taylor Swift!

Lyrics from Taylor Swift's 'I Almost Do'

NOTE: I need a copy-reader for this story I am writing...


          Getting over someone is never easy, even if that someone was never really yours to begin with. But you know what they say: life goes on. As cliche as it sounds, losing a person is not the end of your world. You may never be the same person you were, but who is?