Wednesday, October 1, 2014

False awakening and lucid dreaming: The terror and the fun

A plain grey door is facing you. You turn the knob and encounter a gruel-looking monster whose features are similar to Marvel's Groot, only he is less adorable. Of course you become frightened... but then you realize, "Where am I and why would such a creature exist in the real world? A-ha! I'm dreaming! I am now lucid, I can make it better!" And make it better, you did. The walls become clearer, the monster become kinder. Everything is light now. Just as you wanted.

For a few moments you are actually having fun and feeling triumphant since you've been wishing to have another lucid dream for a long time. What makes it better than just being aware is that you were also controlling it. Still joyous, you look to your right when all of a sudden, you find that something dark is eating up the wall. You become afraid and lose control: the whole place becomes even bleaker and worse than before. What should you do? You bite your fingers and you feel the pain but you are still there. Your brain is making a fool out of you by stimulating the sense of pain. How do you wake up? Com'on body, wake up!

The thought of not being able to escape the nightmare that you have created is eating up your insides and making your heart beat fast. How do you wake up? How do you wake up? You struggle for what seemed like five minutes looking for a way out until everything turns black. Your eyelids open and you find yourself lying on the floor, the thought of escaping the previous nightmare making you happy. You look around and you thought to yourself, "Where the hell am I? What the hell are they?" They look a lot like horses but if they were horses, shouldn't they be standing on four feet? You are still dreaming. You have not awoken. You have been fooled again by your own subconscious.

This makes you panic even more: what the actual fudge? This is similar to what happens to movies--Inception much? Wake up! Wake up! How do you wake up? Contrary to popular belief, biting and the sense of pain won't do it. The world collapses around you, the familiar blackness engulfed your sight, and all of a sudden you find yourself lying on a hard floor. This might be it. You don't know how, but maybe you have woken up for real. You open your eyes, and lo and behold... another fantasy world with queer surroundings and surreal creatures. Seriously? You know you are dreaming but you have no idea how to wake up, so you list all the inconsistencies you experience in your head. In the real world, no such colorful tree with candies as fruits exist. In the real world, people look human, not like hairy animals wearing suits and carrying suitcases. Damn it, why aren't you still waking?

You are trapped. You jump in your dream and you walk but your body seems to be still: you must have woken up if your body was acting out together with your mind. And then that does it--it makes you remember that 9gag post you read about sleep paralysis. You might not be able to wake up at all unless somebody wakes you hard. What if you end up trapped here until you die?

Another blackout. Your head feels light and you wake up to the familiar light-blue misplaced tiles in your house. You are home. You brush your teeth and you talk with your brother. It's dinner time and you were watching a movie. Wait, what? Why is everything happening like you were still in a dream, in such a way that successions were really fast? This isn't the way in the real life. Time. Where's the time your spent idle? You are still dreaming! Your heart beats faster than ever. How long will you be trapped in your dream world? How much sense of fear of being trapped, being lucid, and being helpless all at the same time should you suffer before it all ends?

Something shakes you and you wake up to a mere blackness. You feel the familiar pillow you used and the mini comforter you spread out on the sofa. You are awake now... aren't you?

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